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Steve Bartman Exposed

Posted by Steve Elliott on Oct 27 2003 at 04:00PM PST in 2019 Season
Cub fans will remember the name of Steve Bartman. In years to come, his identity will be lumped with other historic goats: Merkel, Durham, etc. But will history remember him correctly? A detailed analysis of the events prior, during, and after game 6 of the National League Championship Series reveals an unexpected finding. Bartman is not Bartman at all. In an effort to protect the real identity of the culprit, the Chicago Cubs and local authorities created "Steve Bartman." Nationals fans know better. Chicago sports fan, wearing a walkman, lives with Mom, social leper...friends "Bartman" is none other than J.J. Neibauer, Esquire. Review the circumstances carefully. How could an employed person be at the ballpark at that time of night? Why would normally mild-mannered Moises Alou respond in such extreme fashion? Why would a Sox fan attend a Cubs game? The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. The answer is blowing in the wind. The "curse" known well to Chicago sports fans has been safely harbored with the Nationals since Leon Durham's infamous boot in 1989. Check the timeline: 1989: Cubs lose-Durham's boot 1991: JJ Joins Nationals-threepeat ends; team breaks up 1993: Nationals lose to #4 seed in championship 1996: Nationals fail to make playoffs 1997: Nationals fall in championship 1998: Nationals fall to Cubs 1999: Nationals fall to McGuires 2000: JJ, on leave of absense; Nationals win Championship. Unmistakable proof. The "curse" returned to Chicago for game 6 of the NLCS. Has the burden been lifted from the Nationals? An exorcism is in order. The soul of the franchise is at stake. Don't underestimate the power of the supernatural. We're dealing with serious stuff here. Stay posted for details on the Winter Exorcism/Team Meeting/Awards Ceremony/Planning Session/Beer Drinking...event.

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