West Allis NATIONALS Baseball

The Milwaukee County Parks Committee tabled a bill that would have provided $5,000 in funding for the purchase and installation of USDA Prime Cut Beef Curtains that would have been hung from the centerfield fence at Zirkel Field in time for the 2008 Langsdorf opener to aid batters with seeing incoming pitches. "This is an outrage!" shouted prematurely balding Nationals centerfielder Adam Karas (aka Adam Carcass) upon hearing the news. Karas, who attended the committee's meeting, then ripped off his Nationals T-shirt, exposing his cock-and-balls hairy chest to the stunned supervisors as he crop-dusted them on his way out of the room. Observers had predicted passage of the bill after the pricetag was lowered from $10,000 to $5,000 after supporters dropped their requirement that the beef curtains be of the "poop and pee" variety. Instead, the requirement was simply lowered to the "sweaty", slashing $5,000 off of the cost. Supervisors then agreed to instead spend the $5,000 on some highly toxic fertilizer for the field and the lowering of the mound from 4 inches high to 2 inches high.