Montrose Roselea

By popular request we donated a section of the website to the now legendary Goose's quotes however no-one is exempt and can be added at any time.


On his Tonsolitis: Goose you might have to get your tonsils removed....(reply) What? do you have tonsils, I only thought you got them when you had tonsolitis.

On being told that the home match vs Kirrie was being reversed due to our pitch not being ready........where will that be played then?

On being told that he had to attend the end of season dance....What do you do at a dance???

The team were having a smoker in Forfar and Gooser asked "what do you do when you get there?" !!!

Whilst standing underneath a shower (fully clothed) trying to wet his hair he got slightly/very wet. "I didn't think that would happen"!

In his boys club days after putting up nets at Broomfield he asked "where are we playing today"

Ross Mcleod has bought a new car with a one of the new locking systems that does not require a key. Goose suggested that he will open it by saying the word "open" to the car???

Chris Masson: I drove past the old bridge last night and the road is still there!! (What?) Yes the road is still there as they have only lifted the sides away!! Next he will be telling us that they have left the roadmarkings.

Goose was being quizzed on why he was in the Grove chipshop for tea before training. He said he had a fish supper. He was told he shouldn't be eating chips before training and was asked if he had just had a single fish instead. "No,it was a fish supper" he replied.

Even esteemed President Jock Skinner has been at it. On writing up the Sponsors Board against Banchory St Ternans he had them down as Banchory ST TRINIANS. Too many videos Jock!

Goose was reading the match programme and noticed that Paul Ross was sponsored by an ANONYMOUS FORMER PLAYER..........who's that then? he asked.

After walking past the Crawford residence one afternoon (on his year out), at night he asked Kevin, was that your sister Ashley that was knocking at the window? No shes abroad at the moment he replied. Ah well then who was knocking at me then? Eh.... that might the builders round the back hammering away on the extension!! Goose is a legend already.

Rangers had the famous player Kebab shop incident and Roselea have excelled with two Five in One stories. The first happened several years ago with Kevin Smith at the centre. Having ordered a Kebab & Pizza after a smoker he then decided to order the delicious chips which were being fried before him to eat on the way home. The man working behind the counter asked him if he wanted small or large, after pausing for a moment he replied...........Ahh that eens there will dae!!! Coully was said to be rolling about laughing behind him.

Then centre stage one Ronnie Massie. He was in Five In One and ordered a Pizza. He then proceeded to ask if he could have it delivered to St Cyrus. Yes no problem that will be £2.50 extra. Em you wouldnt mind if I sat in the back when you deliver it was his reply!!! He was told to get tae. I cannot believe that Ronnie thought that one up himself!!

Ronnie in his younger days was walking accross the Links after playing football and spotted the Glaxo factory in all its glory lit up at night. He said "that looks just like a...........factory"!!!
Look out for more Massie classics in the near future.

Ronnie was at school and announced that Montrose Reserves had three brothers playing for them the night before. "What was their names?" somebody asked...............The Trialist brothers!!!

Alan Riddell has joined the club again as a coach and it wasn't going to take long for him to join the hall of fame. A first scorer sweepie was being made up on the way to Tayport and with Tayport playing under squad numbers they were give 22 players in the draw as opposed to the usual 16/17. Alan spotted the Tayport teamlines and said "Ach Min Look theres a number 46 on ther, naebodies going tae win if he scores". "No Alan, that is his house number" was the reply!!

General Manager Peter Kenyon has also kept quiet about his one at Christmas. After playing Kinnoull he was watching Crystal Palace playing on telly at the Golf Inn. Eric Watson said that Routledge was a great player. RG thinking that he was speaking about the Kinnoull player of the same name he replied "Aye and that Barry Gardiner is a better player than I used to give him credit for"????? Watson correctly just ignored that one!

Kevin Crawford was bound to come in with a few. At Elmwood as thier keeper Scott Lindsay was about to clear a passback Kevin shouted "get intae him he disnae hae a fit". He also disclosed a belter when watching Scotland in the Northern Vaults. Scotland were 1-0 down to Lithuania with only a few minutes remaining. The fourth offical held up his digital sign and Kevin shouted in a Ronnie Brown sort of way (as if they were going to hear him) "COMON Scotland, 9 minutes to do it" Just then Dickov who was wearing number 9 was subbed!!

Latest Goose effort at North End. The Evening Telegraph had a headline saying something about the Dokens being well in with a shout of the title. This was pinned on the dressing room wall. Goose asked "who are the Dokens"???

Enter one Paul Masson. Whilst trying to slag Ronnie Massie about stuffing his face at Burger King, Ronnie coolly replied "Aye was that a "BIG MAC" you tried to order in Burger King?". Wonder he wasnt thrown out as that is surely a blasphomy in the world of Whoppers.

Ex player Mark Young was watching the Lea against Jeanfield and commented that it was great to see a DUNDEE side (from PERTH)? who came with the intentions of playing total football.

Sean Mustard will be good for a few in his time and heard one lately. Wondering where the George Street Barbers were, he asked if that was the one in Murray Street.
On a school trip to France he insisted that he was not "overseas" as he travelled there via the Channel Tunnel which had taken him under the sea!

Ex Roselea Committee man and now Brechin Vics Eric Dickie is a legend of the quote and has been welcomed to the Quotes board with this belter. Just before the impending top of the table clash between the Vics and Roselea he said there would only be two things that could happen "Either een o us will win or it will be a draaa". It was pointed out that is actually 3 things Eric!
Eric was famed for his saying on an Aberdeen smoker " Theres nithin like the sicht o the Granite"!!

Dean Milne was sent on a spying mission to watch Dyce. He said if he got a chance to get on the pitch he would measure it. I said to him that he could measure it by walking up the sides and behind the goal! Doh! 

Colin Kennedy was bound to become a member and his time came whilst visiting James McKellars house after the recent Penicuik game. He spied a DVD and asked Midge if H5 was a good film, Midge replied "thats upside down its 24"!!!

Young Lads are vunerable and speak without thinking. Scott Riach is the latest addition. At a recent friendly he asked why Midge (JAMES) McKellar gets called JIMMY? No comment needed.

A players mum who will remain nameless was asking what the players were up to when she saw them all out for the night. A Committee member said they were on a Smoker and were touring a few pubs. She then said "do they have a fag at all the pubs". We can see where the player gets it from.  

Ralph Brand made a Cup Final blooper in the DJ Laing final against Lochee Utd. In an effort to run down the clock he had Scott Riach stripped and ready to go on until it was pointed out that he had already used all 3 subs!

At our first Ladies Dinner an un-named woman came out with a classic. Half way through SHERIFF Lindsay Woods speech she turned to a friend and asked if he really was a CHEF!

An old one but Alan Coull commented that an injured player whilst we were in Perth would have to go to Perth DRI! Also at Luncarty whose pitch runs alongside a B Road. The ball went over the fence and was bouncing along the road and a player went running after it. Alan shouted "watch out thats the notorious A9!!"

Lee Hood signed for the club in March 2010 and it wasnt long before he entered the hall of fame. After smashing his nose on a perimeter brick wall at Links Park during a friendly he was presented with a mock up white breeze block which was painted white and smeared with tomato sauce to replicate what had happened the week before. He asked "how did you manage to get that from Links Park"!!!!

April Fools day 2010 and Ralph Brand gets into action. Phones General Manager Roy Gill saying that Edinburgh City were looking for a pre season friendly and to contact Alan Lyons on 0131*** ****. GM duly phones said number and gets Edinburgh Zoos answering machine! Hook Line and sinker. Not content with that he also catches out Co Manager Doug Craig telling him that Club Captain Paul Whyte is not happy and wants away. Dougie Craig then phones Whyte in a rage before Paul eventually got to point out what day it was.

August 2010 and Scott Riach is sporting one of the freebie Irn Bru Towels and quotes "I had to drink loads of Coca Cola to get this". Groan 

August 2011. Callum Rae who no doubt has numerous other howlers asked how long had gone in a recent game. 34 minutes was the reply. "Is that about halfway through the half"???

 July 2012. Bob Urquhart announced to the Managers that he wouldnt be training on Weds. "Why not"? he was asked. "Because I am taking my girlfriend away for the weekend"!  Shocking