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At One Point During The Game
Submitted by G. Hemmer
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his
7-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand
what cooperation is? What a team is?"
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose
together as a team?"
The little boy nodded yes.
"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is
called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call
him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that?"
Again the little boy nodded.
He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another
boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call
your coach 'a dumb ***' is it?"
Again the little boy nodded.
"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that
to your mother."
Why does it get HOT after baseball game?
Because all the fans leave!
What takes longer, running from first base to second, or from second to third?
Second to third, because you have to go through a
SHORT stop.
A Man and His DOG
A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, "You can't bring that dog in here."
"You don't understand," says the man. "This is no regular dog, he can talk."
"Listen, pal," says the bartender. "If that dog can talk, I'll give you a hundred bucks."
The man puts the dog on a stool, and asks him, "What's on top of a house?"
"Roof!"
"Right. And what's on the outside of a tree?"
"Bark!"
"And who's the greatest baseball player of all time?"
"Ruth!"
"I guess you've heard enough," says the man. "I'll take the hundred in twenties."
The bartender is furious. "Listen, pal," he says, "get out of here before I belt you."
As soon as they're on the street, the dog turns to the man and says.
"Do you think I should have said 'DiMaggio'?"
Baseball In Heaven
Is There Baseball In Heaven?
Two old men had been best friends for years, and they both live to their early 90's, when one of them suddenly falls deathly ill. His friend comes to visit him on his deathbed, and they're reminiscing about their long friendship, when the dying man's friend asks, "Listen, when you die, do me a favor. I want to know if there's baseball in heaven."
The dying man said, "We've been friends for years, this I'll do for you." And then he dies.
A couple days later, his surviving friend is sleeping when he hears his friend's voice. The voice says, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that there's baseball in heaven."
"What's the bad news?"
"You're pitching on Wednesday."
J ThE LiGhter SiDe of BaSeBALL J
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